Man I didn’t realize that its almost a year since I last blogged…..shame on me as a blogger but was very busy with life…..nothing on personal front, just on professional front…..went across the world hictchiking, meeting people and basically being myself.  This was something I had promised myself that I will be doing before I get married.  So it started last November when I quit my job to do the things that I really wanted to do…..scanned around the serene mountains of Himalayas, strolled around the beaches in eastern part of the world and went sight seeing in all the places where I was ensured a free stay and free food (so only went to those places where I have relatives).  And then life has come back all to normal and that too in all the senses.   Was determined that this time for sure will find someone to marry but I guess in the whole serenade of ‘globe trotting’ this one factor was missed out.  But hey who is complaining!!!!!!

So came back, joined another job (the main reason being tat family strictly refuses to support financially).  And life is back to the same ol din of facing the music from bosses, clients, vendors, media guys, event managers and even my bai.  Just when I thought that am settling down to ‘normal life’ I guess I missed the fact that life really cant be normal without the ‘potential bridegroom problems’.  Its been just two months that I got back, found a decent joint to crash in, got lunatics as roomies (tell ya its fun being with them) and then I get this phone call asking me to visit home the following weekend as someone is coming to see me (did I hear a collective groan from ya all).  By now I have gotten used to all this drama tat my own drama falls short of the glamour in comparison, hence packed bags and left for home on Friday night.  Saturday could have been one of the best days of the week after a looooooong time with friends at a pub, great dinner, one drink and dance all night.  But no I have to go home to see the boy to get married to him.  Arranged marriage is the funniest and the most weird concept that I have heard but then fate is such that its again me only who is forced to make that concept a part of my life.  The whole thing is akin to walking up to a absolute stranger and asking him to marry me……..cheez cant believe its me who is doing it.  What happened to all that 21^st century woman stuff that I keep telling my boss and at my much applauded motivational talks.  In my case it all ultimately boils down to whom do I choose family or my concepts.  Lets accept it that am no great mahatma to stick to ‘concepts’.  I’d rather choose life than die for a concept which I think is just a concept.  Ok so back to the scene where I reach home Saturday early morning. How true the adage is that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’, since now everybody know what I have come for (we have gone through it umpteen times) that no one really fusses over me.  Over a cup of coffee am as usual briefed about the boy’s credentials with a strict warning that I shouldn’t be saying no to him for flimsy reasons that he has a moustache or that he doesn’t have a moustache.  I make a mental note that I better come out with some thing really good.  Now I have nothing personal against any of the guys but that I don’t want to be the one to get married like this.  I’d rather marry a loser whom I lover than an accomplished chap whom I don’t click with (the main point to be noted is that I said ‘rather’, I did not say that I ‘wil’)  Everything is ‘ceterius paribus’ (all things remaining constant).  This time as the rains are about to come, its kind of windy and there is a slight chill hence the warmth of a saree was welcome for a change.  As usual tied up my hair, put on decent makeup (my cousin once stressed that he rejected a girl as she was not dressed up properly, and I have a condition that I will not let my ego take a beating by letting a guy say no to me.  I want to be the one to say NO).  After good half an hour later I looked at the mirror and appreciated the girl in it, she looked good or should I say much better compared to what she is in real life.  No wonder these cosmetic companies make so much money, they really sell beauty in bottles.  Took out my perfume which I use only on my ‘extra special’ dates, sprayed it lightly and then gave myself a pep talk.  The truth is the guy is some kinda ‘big’ (as per dad) shot in Unicef or some Un(something) (somethn must be wrong as almost all the guys of late I am seeing are related to UN in some or the other way) and hence wanted to make a good impression (told ya its an ego thing for me).  Twenty minutes later he made the entry with just his ‘best friend’. Where is the family? Where is his side of cheering crowd? I leaned a little more into the window glass to have a look at him.  Mmmm he fit all description of tall, dark (fairer than me atleast) and handsome.  Muwahhh this is a scene I always love to see and I cant believe my luck the Adonis himself is walking into my home.  But hey wot is he wearing, t chap was dressed in a shirt and jeans, man I spend an hour dressing up for this fellow and he walks in as if he is walking into a mall for window shopping.  I suddenly felt so out of vain looking and so ‘eager to please’, I wanted to crawl out into jeans and tee (atleast that would make me comfortable to talk on ‘equal’ footing).  Begged my bhabhi to let me do tat but then to no avail, soon I was asked to come down to ‘serve them tea’.  Cheez this is like from frying pan to fire, I felt so (donno wot to say, I hope you understand) odd and so ‘old fashioned.  Here is a guy (in my living room) who is so normal next door (barring the Adonis looks) and I resemble a typical south Indian ‘penn’ (girl) who has walked right out of some remote village.  Envisioned scenes of making sure that my family will have to endure my crankiness (once the guests go) for making me feel like how a clown.  I was feeling the way a clown  would feel if he were in UN general council meeting all dressed up to hilt in his costume with his red nose intact in place.  Well even my nose was beginning to show red with more indignation and then embarrassment.  A mallu proverb goes ‘if you get wet, emerge after a bath’ and that’s exactly wot am gonna do. bath.  So straightened up my shoulders, took the tray and walked up straight to the guy and offered him the tea.  He looked up and gave me a smile (oh god…. was I smitten), moved to his friend (mmm not bad, not at all bad ) and kept the tray on the teapoy.  Before I could bend my knees to sit, my great dad asked me to sit.  Turning to the boy, my dad started to ask about his family, job, blah blah blah.  And I sat thinking ‘this chap aint bad, donno marriage but I don’t mind a few dates’.  On a scale of 10 I rated him 8 (which is impressive coz I rarely ever rate anyone (the guys who come to see me) above 6).  Even his friend seemed interesting (that cool so if things don’t work out with hero I can try a hand with his friend) And in middle of my reverie I was asked by the guy that what do I do.  And then I forgot that exactly what do I do but mentally I shook my head vigorously I said that am a media person (that is an answer that is always on my lips even if am nothing of that sort.  Its just that people then don’t bother me with further questions).  The guy said ‘mmm…..interesting’.  I smiled back in return (sniffing to make sure that my perfume is working).  My dad (I love him for that) said that maybe we should be given some time alone to talk and the with that the crowd walked away.

The guy: By the way am G****

Me: Very unusual name for a mallu

Guy: (Smiled) everyone says that

So it proves am normal, must tell this to my brothers they are the ones who always question my sanity

Me: So you are in the UN (I forgot wot he was exactly in)

Guy: you can say so

Me: That’s nice

Guy: (Smiles again) So wot media are you into

Me: well actually am a publicist

Guy: tats different than a media person, aint it

Me: yes I said media person as most people don’t follow wot is publicist and then end up quizzing me on all it nuisances which is at times a headache

Guy: So u wanted me to avoid being a headache to you

Me: (was wondering what this guy is exactly trying to say) (so smiled back)

Guy: So how is life in Mumbai

Me: Gr8

Awkward silence prevailed for some time, I donno why am not able to think of anything intelligent to say at  moments like this.  So I sat mulling oh how great he look and……..

Guy: you too can ask me question and this is no interview….

Me (Smiled even a little more, almost 28 teeth were showing by now, not sure about the exact number though)

Guy: So what career plans?

Honestly!!!!! I want to live off your money, was wanting to say that but then it wouldn’t make a great impression.  Being a publicist I know tat it’s the impression that matters but at the same time since I have no particular career goal wot do I say….

Me: Donno

Guy: No?

Me: Donno, lets c how life takes from here

Guy: (smiled mischeviously)

And I realized wot an idiot I am, I could have said so many things but all my brains could sum up was ‘….how life takes from HERE’ I kicked myself mentally, how can I be so dumb.

Me: (acted nonchalant) well donno if tats wot I want to do, u can say am still in a process of discovering my calling.

Now tats sounds a lil bit intelligent and also a little bit gud…rite? I hope he takes the bait.

Guy: Nice atleast you know that wot you are looking for, that great.

Me: Wot about u

Guy: Nothing much I oversee the various programmes and projects of Unicef in India, Do a study on how to better the living of the downtrodden and stuff like that.  If I go on you will get bored

Yes I will get bored as am already bored within the first line of description, was tempted beyond belief to ask about the money factor.  But decided to restrain as that is something that comes under the domain of the elders.  A quick assessment on the clothes and the accessories kind of gave a clue that he earns decently well, wanted to take a look at the shoes.  The best clue is always in the shoe, indirectly it will tell what the guy is like.  But the overall picture was promising.

Me: Do you have a girlfriend?

You see the guy is promising so its betr that I ask him point blank, if he has any string trailing at his tail, I can move out of this near infatuated state of being. 

Guy (now surprised): Why

Me: It’s a question

Guy: I know but just that am bit surprised

Me: Wot is the use of going on and on about our lives if we don’t plan to, u know

Guy: So you don’t plan to?

Wot is this guy….a nut.  Am asking him a simple question if he has a girl friend.  Why is he going on a different tangent exploring the human psyche behind my asking the question.  Cheez I tell ya Men can at times be so ………

Me: Am waiting for the answer

Guy: So am I

Have I met the match for my wits

Me: (took a deep breath) well just wanted to know

Guy: why would that be, do you think that  I would

Positively now I wanted to kick him (and do lot many other things too) but as of now lets just settle on kick.  Exasperated I just smiled on.

More moments of silence

Guy: No

Me: No?

Guy: No I don’t have a girl friend

Was I relieved and also happy.  Made sure that I don’t let him know all that.  I hope he cant see the flush on my face.

Guy: I hope you too don’t?

Ah was I thrilled to hear that line..’I hope you too don’t’

Me: No, had it been the case, wud I be here

Well I would have loved to in either of the cases, he is one piece of cake that I would sure love to have a bite of.

Guy: (smiled again) yeah

Me: (Smiled back in return)

More silence prevailed and then (bless his heart) the guy spoke

Guy: you know wot this one meeting is not going to yield anything to both of us.  Is it ok if I can get your number, maybe I can call you and maybe meet up with you whenever I come visiting to Mumbai.

Oh yeah, yeah ,yeah but didn’t say any of that and made sure tat even my face would betray any of that.

Me: Sure but for the time being can we stick to emails

Didn’t want to look eager and desperate

Guy: Sure, as you wish

We exchanged our email ids. 

Guy: Am leaving for Delhi day after, will definetly mail you once am back home.

Me: No problem

I wanted to say, I will wait

Guy: So did u see any movie lately?

Me: yeah …..

And lively conversation just flowed.  We had overcome the main hurdle and as of we seem to be going great.  Soon t crowd joined us and as his friend walked back to his seat, he looked at guy and gave him a naughty smile and thumped his back (I always wanted to know tat wot do guys mean by that gesture) and he turned at me and nodded.  Now what should I be doing, nod back in return or just continue smiling like a nerd.  Since there were no ‘elderly people’ my dad was having a tough time about coming up with topics and I didn’t want to spoil my chance by being myself.  Poor bhabhi (is always lost without bhaiya).  And the friend has a brain wave, pointing to the wall with my mother’ picture, he asks a dumb question ‘Is that your mum’

Now why on the earth would we hang some other lady’ pic on walls of our house.  Isn’t it but natural that she has to be my mother, especially if the pic has lights about it.  We three spoke in unison ‘Yes’.  Men when put in awkward situation can really come up with dumb, boring and outright stupid questions.  I guess the report I read about them in a news snippet was true that any given point in time they either think sex or noting at all.  And this was probably the poor guys moment of ‘nothing at all’.  And then he spoke again ‘You resemble her’.  Not wanting to be rude or even proving him wrong, we all just smiled at him.  The truth is that am an exact replica of my paternal grandma.  In no way do I resemble my mum except the voice may be.  Tell ya guys…sometimes its better that they just keep their mouths shut.  Probably dad wanted to save the chap from more such faux passes or maybe he didn’t want to answer any more stupid question or maybe he saw himself in that poor chap (some 35-40 years back) and didn’t want to be reminded of his own follies that he invited the guests over for lunch.  The lunch that we seem to be serving all the guys who come over is now mounting upward with momentum. Had we saved al that we could have given it off to feed an orphanage (atleast would have got some charity brownie points).  This time only the men sat for lunch as me and bhabhi wanted to dine later.  Soon the men were lost in their own conversation that border on ‘guy issues’, actually my dad can talk all informal topics with élan but formal topics has him in sweats.  We moved out (me still in saree) and I regaled all the conversation out to bhabhi and we sat discussing the guy.  After lunch the guys came up and after a few mintues they began to make moves to leave and the guy turned to me thanking me for a awesome time, I didn’t say anything wot could I say so just tilted my head, pursed lips and smiled. Then without warning he leaned over to touch my cheeks with his (my dad looked with disapproval and I stared at him questioningly) and after both cheeks of mine were imprinted with stabs from his stubble (man he could have had a better shave) he moved on to bid farewell to other family members.  Soon after all such sho sha they walked out and we walked in.  Before I could even exit the room towards mine, dad spoke out “Wat was the need for you to kiss him’ Me (turned with near alarmed ex-pression) ‘that wasn’t a kiss and I wasn’t the one who initiated’

Dad: But you should have moved back when he leaned towards you

Me: I had no clue that he was going to do that

Dad: Well did he say that he wants to marry you

Me: Who in his sane mind will say that on the first meeting

Dad: But how did it seem to you?

Me: He said he will mail me

Dad: To say yes or no

Me: No but to speak to me so that we can figure out if we are compatible

Dad: You are not speaking to him

Me: Am not speaking, I will be mailing him

Dad: Wot I mean is no form of communication, wot kind of a boy is that how can he just be so shameless and kiss the girl right in front of her dad.  I had my misgiving about him the minute that idiot David spoke to me about him, Look **** you are not speaking or mailing him, you get that.

Me: Yes dad (whatever)

Didn’t want to disagree as it will lead to conflict that gonna take some time and I was so tired, just wanted to sprawl on the bed and sleep.  Dad continued for some more time with his opinion on the guy while I pretented to listen and agree. 

Well donno if he is for keeps or for fun, either ways he is worth a try.  Usually the men I get are the ‘boyish’ kinda guys and this chap was one who looked like a man….best of all he seemed interested.  This is wot life is supposed to be, After a very long time tat Sunday I made my journey to Mumbai on high note…..after all interesting days lay ahead ;)