‘So wats the big deal’ said my brother wen I was telling in length the problems in coming home every now and then just to check out a guy.

Since even I have given up all hopes of ever driving any sense into hardened brains of the men at my place so packed my bags and left.  I feel like a lamb being taken to slaughter house every time I participate in this drama.

First things first, sat and told dad not to tell anyone about the ‘creative abilities’ and definitely no boasting about the ‘culinary skills’.  Dad heartily agreed to all my conditions (I am very sure he will backtrack as soon as we all run out of conversations topics).  Nevertheless we all geared for the d-day.  Again I was wrapped in a kanjeevarm saree (yet again –imagine my plight in this summer) with my hair in a bun (I never tie my hair).  By the end of the costume drama I was anything but myself.

Afternoon they walked in (thankfully a small crowd) Dad, Mom and son.  Soon I was ushered in (we outnumbered them like 1:4). From my side it was me, dad, brother, aunties (3), uncles (2), cousins (2) not to mention the servants.  I was very sure the guy was sweating as all of us were looking at him (more like he was some piece of pastry) and pastry he was.  Cute to look at with a boyish looks and gentle manners (well all guys will be gentle in such a scenario).  Parents talked about our qualifications and jobs, thankfully no painting abilities were mentioned (much to my relief). 

Before the boy came, dad came out with the idea (weird ones at tat) that if I done don’t like the guy I should just raise my hand (and how am I supposed to do tat without them noticing) and then he will do the rest. After much discussion we settled on the sign tat I should just itch my earlobe (as subtly as possible).

So armed with all instruction both me and our guest we proceeded to our lawn (it was my idea, atleast I can stare at something interesting) so we talked about general stuff like our jobs, likes and dislikes and even our hobbies (for a change it was fun), I was awaiting his question on ‘boyfriend’ but none came, but something else came:

Guy: ‘So wat makes you go for this kind of traditional method’

(now wat do I answer-if only I knew)

Me: ‘well it’s our tradition so I guess I need to adhere to it’ (whatever tat meant)

Guy: ‘U really don’t look tat types…’

(now wat does he mean)

Me: Excuse me

Guy: ohhh… wat I meant was tat u are exposed to a wide variety of thoughts and ideas and especially ur blessed with the freedom to choose your destiny, so why do u choose this method’

(mmm so if I decode this it means: did you have a breakup, or are you abnormal or were you involved with someone tat ur parents are forcing for this marriage)

Me: Woah dude, tats mouthful

Guy: (burst our laughing)

Thank god so I too decided to ask him the same

Me: So why u

Guy: Why me wat

Am I speaking French or some Guatemalan language that he is confused as to wat did I ask.

Me: No just wondering tat why u are adhering to this

Guy: You are asking my ques back to me

Of course I was, wat did it look like….

Me: mmm (coupled with a cute smile)

Guy:  Well I think I will answer after I hear from him

I wanted to cry (more out of anger) if we keep on playing like this, it will never end and I am definitely not planning to tell him the truth.

Me: Well… I really haven’t thought as to WHY I am sticking to this method but since my parents think tat maybe I have grown up and need to get married so u can say am actually fulfilling their wish.

Guy: mmm interesting but wat about ur wishes

Now I really wanted to hit the guy

Me: (smiled back)

Guy: No please I do wanna know, look if it is something tat you cant do it urself, I will help u

Me: (Gave a wider smile)

Guy: Alright its your wish, but just for the sake if we are to get married, is it some guy problem’

I wanted to do a lil victory jig as I had predicted tat this ques is due

Me: No bcoz if it were I wouldn’t be her

Guy: (this time he smiled back)

More such questions coupled with the afternoon sun beating down I wanted to go inside as soon as possible, three ‘innocent’ yawns later the guy asked “lets go it, its getting hot out here’

Now I wanted to smile wickedly

Once in , we walked towards the lunch table, (thankfully dad didn’t mention about my enviable ‘culinary skills and expertise’) more talks later, they got up to leave.

As a parting note he shook hands with me and thanked me for a wonderful time (huh!!!)

My family was amused and I was confused.  Minute they got out my bro pestered me to hear the story and I narrated the whole incident word to word (I can make a good RJ-any radio person listening), everything was settled.  No fights no disagreements and absolute peace prevailed at home until dad asked ‘so they were asking wen shud they come over for the final talks’

‘Final talks for wat’ I asked

“ur and his marriage”

Suddenly like a thunderbolt I remembered tat I forgot itch my earlobe, everyone took it as my yes and without even bothering to tell me they told his parents tat I said yes…

The realization was akin to heaven falling on to me….donno y I suddenly was reminded to chicken little.  Of all things on earth I thought of Chicken Little!!!!!

The uproar created seemed like a start to world war III to cut a long story short, we said no them and I was packed back to Mumbai. 

Just bcoz I forgot to itch an earlobe………

Life sure is ‘happening’ for me.